As autumn settles in and winter makes herself known you might find yourself lower on energy and so called to slow down a little, rest a little more perhaps, but….How often have you put your to do list aside and put your feet up to enjoy a well deserved break, just to pretty much immediately begin to feel guilty??
The source of this insidious guilt is often hard to pinpoint, and the reason is that it is in the very fabric of our society. It started with the protestant work ethic which helped create the Industrial Revolution back in the day (and that is the first and possibly only time I have used my degree in Sociology in a yoga blog post!!) Society needed people to be willing to work long hours for others, and the prevalent religious belief of the time supported that – hard work got you to heaven, rest and relaxation did not. Modern capitalist society further supports that. We live in a world where being overworked is glamorized and romanticised. It is the approved path to success, and success is sold to us as being able to own as much stuff as possible. You don’t have to think too hard to see can see how that benefits big companies on both sides of the coin – you work really hard for them, and then you then buy all their stuff.
Then add in womanhood. You carry invisible, unpaid, unrecognised labour, be that motherhood, caring for other relatives, managing the life admin, running or co-running a home. Although your energy levels work over a 28 day cycle along with the moons energy, you live in a society that runs on a 24 hour energy cycle, and that rarely matches with your own requirements, never mind the bigger cycles women live with – puberty, perhaps pregnancy and motherhood, menopause....we work in big looping cycles as women, not with a the handy 24 hour day matching energy. I could do a whole, lengthy separate blog post on this, but you get the idea so I will stop there!
We are not supposed to do things all of the time, to achieve constantly. We are human beings, not human doings after all.
The problem with all the above is, mental health issues are at an all time high, anxiety, depression and burn out are increasingly and worryingly common, and they are not a good state to be in. If you don’t take rest when your body and mind whisper that it needs to rest then it will shout. And if you don’t listen when it shouts it was scream.
Let me tell you about what happened to me when I ignored all the messages….I lost my mum a number of years ago, it was very sudden and very traumatic. However, my daughter was 5, so I still had to fit in school runs whilst being in and out of hospital all hours during mums last days of life. I then had to pick her up from school literally hours after my mum had died, and I had be ok for her and make small talk with people at the school gate. Days later said small daughter got chicken pox, so was at home, so I was caring for a small unwell person. Then my husband got chicken pox – epic, properly impressive multi-story chicken pox, he was not well at all. Then the next weekend I had a weekend of training for my yoga teaching course. So I had literally just lost my mum, there were 2 ill people at home, I was studying, I was teaching part time in a primary school – which I kept on doing so I could have some semblance of normality…. basically I powered through. We went on family holiday (booked well before any of this happened) the day after mums funeral, so I was packing hours after the wake. You get the picture of the intensity I am sure! Then one morning, a few weeks after it all happened I woke up with my back and hip in such bad pain that I literally couldn’t move. The physio worked with me for a few minutes before she asked if I had had any traumatic events recently....It then took 6 months before I could walk without searing pain, my back was in constant spasm, my old hip injury was agony, I had horrific sciatica. It took months before I realised that no amount of physio or pushing through or fighting it was going to help, I just needed to accept that this is how it was and that until I rested it would stay with me. I took a week of just being with the pain, of not trying to carry on and slowly, slowly, things gently began the healing process.
Now, this is a very extreme example, but how often have you kept going only to be wiped out the second you stop? If you don’t stop, your body reaches a point when it forces you to, through illness, through shutting down, through whatever else.
It is insane to me that this is so common in our society that millions of people need time off for burnout, depression and anxiety which is so often caused by overwork – be that invisible labour or employment, and often a combination of both. Ironically, this fall out is often served with a nice big side-order of judgement about being lazy and unable to cope. Thus feeding the beast.
So – perhaps it is time to rebel! For your health and wellbeing take rest routinely, take it selfishly – you are no use to any of the people around you if you are burnt out. More importantly, it is no good for you to be burnt out! Self care is NEVER selfish. Take rest greedily, indulge in it. Don’t even wait for the whisper, pre-empt it. Grab a cup of tea and a book and a cosy chair. Or take your favourite tipple and curl up in front of an old movie. Whatever doing nothing looks like for you - do it! Take a nap, lie down and listen to a guided relaxation or yoga nidra as soon as you come home from your day. Come to a yoga class! Do whatever it is that helps keep you calm and grounded, that connects you back to yourself - and do it without guilt and shame. Keeping yourself well should never be an add on, it should never be an after thought, and rest is a vital part of that. Especially in autumn and winter. And, those things on the to do list, they will still be there.
I learnt a great word a couple of weeks ago that I think applies here: Abscission - this is when trees lose their leaves, they put up an abscission layer where they just cut off energy to those leaves allowing them to turn colour and float away. However brutal that sounds, this abscission allows that tree to survive over winter, all the nutrients are required for the tree itself so it can come back bigger and stronger when warmth and light resumes. That is exactly what taking regular rest does for us, it allows us to preserve the very core of us, the important bit, by simply removing a little energy from the outside edges every now and again. Put up that abscission layer, rebel by taking some rest!
If you fancy some support indulging in some rest over the run up to winter and the festive season – a time where we are under a lot of pressure to keep giving our energy outward when really we should be redirecting our efforts inwards - then join us for one of our lovely winter events!
November 16th, December 7th Join myself, Aishling (reiki master, crystal and manifestation expert) Angela (Japanese head spa, massage and aesthetics) in Spencers Wood Community Centre, for mini facials and head massages, heated eye masks, gentle meditative movement to prepare for a sound bath with a mini reiki as you lie back and listen. Not only that but there is crystal bracelet making and some little Christmas shopping opportunities too. All topped off with mince pies and elderflower fizz. Places for this gorgeous evening are limited, in fact more than half the spaces are gone already - Email me for booking details!
November 22nd Cosy Sound bath: Earley Crescent Resource Centre; lie back wrapped in blankets and surrounded by stars as you are guided into relaxation before floating away on the waves of sound from Crystal Singing Bowls and other sound healing instruments. Finishing with oracle cards and homemade cinnamon cocoa bliss balls and fruit to help ground you before heading out into the night!
December 13th Alternative Festive Night Out: Earley Crescent Resource Centre; Starting with gentle flowing movement so we can release tension and stretch and soothe the muscles, to make sure we are comfortable before we settle in for a guided meditation leading into a sound bath. Surrounded by fairy lights, stars and sparkles, accompanied by seasonal aromatherapy and finishing off with mince pies - a festive night out both body and mind will thank you for!
I hope to see you soon! Now, take a rest!
With love,
Emma xx
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